Most couples argue from time to time. It’s perfectly normal and healthy to disagree on things like how to spend money, discipline the kids, or division of household chores. However, sometimes these disagreements can escalate into full-blown arguments that can leave both partners feeling hurt, angry, and resentful.
If you find yourself in an argument with your spouse, there are some things you can do to diffuse the situation and resolve the issue without further damaging your relationship.
These Things Include:
1. Take a step back.
When tempers begin to flare, it’s important to take a step back and calm down before things get out of hand. If you need a few minutes to cool off, tell your spouse that you’re going to take a walk or go for a drive. Once you’ve had a chance to calm down, you can come back and resume the discussion.
2. Avoid name-calling and insults.
Arguments can quickly escalate when name-calling and personal insults enter the picture. If you find yourself getting caught up in this type of behavior, it’s important to take a step back and remind yourself that this is not productive and will only make the situation worse.
3. Listen to what your spouse is saying.
Often, people get so wrapped up in their own point of view that they don’t take the time to really listen to what their spouse is trying to say. If you can’t seem to get past your own perspective, try repeating back what you think your spouse is saying and asking if you’ve understood correctly. This will help ensure that you’re on the same page and can start working towards a resolution.
4. Avoid ultimatums.
Threatening to leave the relationship or take some other drastic measure if your spouse doesn’t agree to your demands is only going to make things worse. Not only is it unfair to put your partner in this position, but it’s also not likely to lead to a resolution that everyone can be happy with.
5. Be willing to compromise.
In any relationship, there will be times when you need to be willing to compromise in order to find a solution that works for both of you. If you’re feeling stuck, ask yourself what you’re willing to give up in order to reach a resolution.
6. Take a break.
If you’re in the middle of an argument and things are not going well, it may be helpful to take a break. This doesn’t mean that you’re giving up on finding a resolution, but sometimes it’s necessary to take a step back and regroup before moving forward.
7. Communicate effectively.
One of the most important things you can do to prevent arguments from escalating is to communicate effectively with your spouse. This means listening as much as you talk, being respectful even when you disagree, and avoiding misunderstandings by clarifying what you mean.
8. Be willing to apologize.
If you’ve played a part in the argument, be willing to apologize for your role in it. This doesn’t mean that you’re admitting that you’re wrong, but it does show that you’re willing to take responsibility for your actions and make things right.
9. Don’t go to bed angry.
It’s often said that you should never go to bed angry, and there’s a lot of truth to this advice. If you go to bed feeling resentful or bitter, it’s going to be hard to get a good night’s sleep. Plus, it will only make it harder to resolve the issue when you wake up in the morning.
10. Seek professional help.
If you find that you and your spouse are constantly arguing and you can’t seem to find a way to resolve your differences, it may be time to seek professional help. A therapist can provide you with the tools and resources you need to get past this difficult time in your relationship.
If you find yourself in an argument with your spouse, try using tipp dbt to diffuse the situation and come to a resolution. With a little effort, you can avoid letting arguments escalate and causing further damage to your relationship.